Well, here I am. For seven years I've labored, like the introvert I am, in relative secrecy. Very few people in my life have known that I've been writing a book. And just so you know, I am completely clueless as to how this is going to play out. And yes, I am scared. That picture above was taken in September of 2019. I set foot in my old high school for the first time in about 25 years. I think my face conveys fear, surprise, and excitement. It was when I was walking around taking pictures, as those terrible and terrific memories swirled and punched each other in the face, that I first felt the stirrings of doing what I am doing right now with this blog and this website.
As my ideas for this book first took shape, I cautiously told only a couple people. I figured if I started runnin' my mouth about it then I would have a lot of explaining to do when my ideas went nowhere and I gave up. "Hey, Scott. How's that book comin' along?" Ugh. The secrecy was designed to minimize any future embarrassment and save face. But I've learned over the past year that whatever protection secrecy gave me, I was really doing great harm to myself mentally. I wasn't being accountable to myself and did not want to trust others and be accountable to them either. I was distracted and unfocused. I was all bottled up and I felt rotten.
How the hell does anyone do anything hard in this life? They lean on other people and welcome support from wherever they can get it. Humility. Vulnerability.
So, that's my plan, anyway. Cheer me if you can, scold me if you must. But you suckers are gonna get me to the finish line somehow. And when you need the same from me, come find me and we'll see what we can do about it. Together.
-SDB